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I am grateful, now fuck off.

It was some time between midnight and 3am. I was dead asleep. I’d fed the littliest at midnight so it was after that, and it was before he woke up for a feed at 3am. This hardly matters, because that time of night is Hell unless you’re pashing, happy drunk, smoking in a bar, dancing, or on drugs – y’know, generally having a fulfilling life that doesn’t involve milk dripping out of your breasts or playing the fart or shit game.

So, I’m asleep and I feel this tiny hand on my face and then there’s a kiss on my forehead. And for a second I’m confused like – did the tiny one do that? He’s only four-weeks-old? Is he a mutant? That would be amazing.

And then I realise it’s my big baby and I pull him into my arms while still asleep and think “oh he’s delicious”. But then he elbows me in the tit and says “JAY JUNGLE MAMA” and I’m like “ughhh fuck you’re not delicious at all. What is that smell?” And I tell him to be quiet and I cuddle him and he says “NO JAY JUNGLE” and he climbs onto my chest and it hurts so bad because my boobs are about to explode. And then I cuddle/smother him and spend the next 40 minutes or so (who knows how long it was – it felt like days) getting him to sleep. And then I got him to sleep and I got up and I went to the bathroom and I came back to this:

Bed

And I was like “FUCK THIS SHIT IT’S MY BED. WHY ARE YOU EVEN UPSIDE DOWN? WHY CAN’T I HAVE ONE SPACE THAT IS MY OWN? WHY ARE YOU ALMOST THREE AND YOU SLEEP WORSE THAN A NEWBORN? WHY IS THERE NEVER ANY ROOM FOR ME??”.

And even though this was an internal scream the little one woke up angrily demanding a feed. While feeding on the floor I took a photo and I put it on Facebook and Twitter. And on Twitter I said ‘sigh’ because the parents on Twitter get it. And on Facebook I did a slightly longer comment because I was trying to be a bit light hearted because…well, we will get there…

So, I said “How come it’s my bed and there’s never room for me in it?” Which you’ll note is not “FUCK THIS SHIT…” It was meant to be funny, a way for me to be like “see?” without being like “OMG KILL ME SEE?” And then I got this message, which I fucking always do, from a friend’s mum. It said: “Be grateful for your boys. They will be adults before you know it and they won’t want to sleep with you. You should enjoy this time”. And I was like OK, I hope I’m never so unstable that when my sons are in their 20s I want them sleeping with me. But aside from that – CAN YOU NOT?

I know the first thing I’m going to be told is “people are just trying to be nice! They’re trying to comfort you”. Yeah, yeah, it’s hard to be charitable when you’ve had two hours sleep. Here’s the deal – trying to be helpful or not – it isn’t. It isn’t helpful. It’s condescending, patronising, and it’s actually (without being melodramatic but maybe a bit melodramatic) it’s dangerous.

Constantly telling parents – Be grateful! Be grateful! One day they won’t be shitting on you! And you’ll be like “omg, I long for the days when I was covered in sour milk and diarrhoea!” So – be grateful! You might be so exhausted that you’re crying on the toilet but these are the best days of your life SO BE GRATEFUL – leads to those parents shutting down and never sharing how they truly feel. It leads to parents not having support networks. It leads to parents walking into parenthood without any idea of how hard some moments, some days, can be. It leads to such unfair expectations on parents – enjoy every minute or you’re a fucking monster. It leads to feeling like you’re doing it all wrong.

I am so grateful for my kids. I can’t even put into words how grateful I am. So I don’t need you to tell me to be grateful. I am. Guess what – I can be so grateful and so tired. I can be so grateful and so fucking over it. I can be so grateful and also imagine not having kids and just pashing and dancing and drinking bourbons till I puke.

These comments always come from people with grown kids. And I get it. Maybe? I mean when the boys are in their 20s I might be wishing they still lived with me and needed me 24-7. I mean, I kind of hope in my late 50s I’m acting like I was in my early 20s – boning their dad, drinking bourbons, going to gigs, spending all my money on band tee shirts and fast food. But I digress – I get it kind of. Your kids are grown, you miss them, you see parents at the beginning of their parenting journey and it makes you nostalgic. I get that there’s no malicious intent.

But just again – can you not. Because when I make a heavily sanitised comment about not sleeping and you make a comment about being grateful, it implies I’m not grateful. And in my sleep deprived state it makes me feel like an asshole.

And this might seem like an overreaction to a comment, but I (and other parents) get it All. The. Time. The other week I said: “Just as one little bogan falls asleep, another little bogan wakes up. They’re like a tag team” and I got one comment and three messages with the “one day you’ll miss it/be grateful” message. I get it about once a week. And the more I get it the more I feel like I can’t talk about the hard parts of parenting, or the things I’m struggling with. Because I don’t want to appear ungrateful for my awesome kids, even the one that hates sleeping. And you see how that’s a problem right? So, here are some things you can say instead of be grateful:

  • I don’t remember how hard it was never sleeping because I’m retired and I sleep until 10 now and I spend all day playing Candy Crush. SO I’m just going to shut the fuck up. (Might be too specific).
  • That sounds tough, want me to drop you over something with chocolate in it?
  • You don’t look tired at all. You look like a glam actress who only eats paleo stuff and drinks grass smoothies.
  • I heard kids who don’t sleep are smarter than kids who do.
  • Parenting is really hard sometimes. It’s ok to find it hard sometimes.

xB

Update: wow! I’m really overwhelmed by the response to this post. Thank you so much for all of your comments. I wish I could reply to every one – but I’m typing one handed because cluster bloody fucking feeding. But thank you – I feel less alone and I hope you do too. Also, I love the idea of #iamgrateful!

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1,161 Comments

  1. You’re completely on target! Since both of my kids are disabled and one of my kids has multiple ( physical, cognitive, and learning) disabilities (and you can tell just by looking at her) when I get those comments it has an added burn because although they tell me to enjoy it while it lasts, I have come to accept that at least one will be living with me until they cart me off to hospice. People who are a bit more clued into the disability thing will give supporting comments which push their beliefs with something like, “she is so lucky God chose you as her momma” and that has it’s own internal momologue. I love my kids. I take my responsibilities to advocate and support them to heart. I relish the small successes and am proud of what each of them bring forth from within. But parenting is a burden. There are rewards but some times those moments are too infrequent and represent long stretches of unregognised, uncompensated, and unfullfilling expenditures of physical and emotional energy. Denying that does a disservice to all parents and all women past and present.

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  2. Sleep Deprived Lucy

     /  March 1, 2015

    This article tested my pelvic floor I found it SO hilarious. From a grateful and empathetic mother of a 2 yr old and a 4 week old xxxx

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  3. matilda

     /  March 1, 2015

    Fantastic post! I love my son, but when he’s happily awake in the middle of the night I tend to be less than grateful…

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  4. Gina

     /  March 1, 2015

    Yep, I remember those judgey looks from other ‘apparently perfect’ mums if I happened to refer to my little ones as ‘trouble’, ‘nightmares’, ‘playing waking tag team’. I also remember other mums who said ‘That’s nothing. I was up all night, eldest had black plague, middle was bitten by a funnel web and the youngest peed on the dog. Then I got up this morning and licked road clean with tongue.’ Gee thanks, ladies. I feel a whole lot better. Fortunately there were those few lovely mums who sympathised, offered support and told me I’d survive. I did, somehow, and now my youngest is 3 I’m really loving all my beautiful kiddies (though a little more uninterrupted sleep wouldn’t go astray!) Thanks for your honesty and yes, it does get better and chocolate definitely helps!

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  5. Ali

     /  March 1, 2015

    Thanks, I needed to read this today. I’m a single mum of a 2 and a 3 year old and the last two weeks in particular have been an awful slog. I’ve lost my temper and then cried into my dishes because I lost my temper. And if I talk about how hard I’m finding it right now, I still preface everything with, “I love them both so much, they’re wonderful kids, but…” Thank goodness for friends who understand. And my sister 🙂

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  6. Mira

     /  March 1, 2015

    Thank you.. You have articulated what I have thought many times… I loved it!

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  7. Temeeka

     /  March 1, 2015

    “Fuck… you need a tv.”
    “Before you know it they’ll be at school and you will never see them.”
    “It goes way too fast, just enjoy it.”

    You fucking come here and have and 11 month old and a 1 day old hanging off your hooters. . I felt like a Jersey cow for six years.

    They’re 10,9 and 7 now…
    And Thank fucking Christ they’re in school.
    God Thank Christ that.five years of full-time live in shit smearing ferals are away from me…
    I have freedom.
    And…
    I’m still grateful for those little shits.

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  8. Miranda

     /  March 1, 2015

    I adore my children, and I loved them from the moment they were born, but there isn’t enough money in all the banks east of the Mississippi to convince me to go back to the days when one was newborn and one was three. If you tossed in the west coast loot, I’d consider it, but it would still be a tough decision. In all seriousness, the advice I give to parents of littles (from my delightful perch parenting a fourth and first grader) is this: hood on; it gets easier. When you are in the midst of it, every day and every night can feel like a barf-soaked, sleep-deprived, shit-covered eternity. Rather than cherishing it, I say you survive it. While parenting elementary kids is certainly still challenging, and periodically makes me want to put the children out by the road with a “free to a good home” sign (and on the worst days, I might just stick with “free” and not worry about vetting the quality of the living situation), those days are infrequent. Everyone in the house can wipe their own butt (though sometimes not as thoroughly as I’d like), put on their own shoes (though not always find them), and find their own snack (though not necessarily without whining).

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  9. MLT

     /  March 1, 2015

    Hands down the best thing I have ever read! You are a freaking legend 🙌🙌🙌 My 8 month old daughter is miss super high maintenance velcro baby extraordinaire and I have literally spent only a few hours away from her since she was born. She is the sunshine in my day but sometimes she is also the dark grey rain clouds, torrential rain, lightning thunder and occasionally hail. This doesn’t make me love her any less and it most certainly doesn’t make me a bad parent it makes me human.

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  10. Rachel

     /  March 1, 2015

    Loved this! I just remember thinking it’s never going to fucking end!

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  11. Tanya

     /  March 1, 2015

    No one talks about the hard stuff! No one tells you that despite how much you love your children sometimes
    Being a parent is shit!!!! And if you dare to say it out loud you are a shit human, shit parent! If we talked about the hard stuff instead of the farytale maybe people would be less harsh on themselves and realise that it’s NOT YOUR FAULT – #banmotherguilt

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  12. vickie miles

     /  March 1, 2015

    Spot on, this made me laugh and I so get it. I was lulled into a false sense of security with my first. He was that perfect child, never cried always smiling slept 7-7 12 hrs. My second was devils spawn or possessed. Screamed for 14 hrs a day even during feeding. Taking a bit then scream high pitched like a colic scream. Nothing wrong with her she just liked it and this went on for over a yr. She then went to throwing herself at things to hurt herself. Everyone used to look at me as if I was the one poking pins in her. No sleep screaming child another to look after the first person that said I was lucky got a mug of water over their head. Felt like I was being punished for having such a good son. Shes 19 now and still not much better

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  13. Sharon cafe

     /  March 1, 2015

    Unfortunately it is, and I in fact could be, the one this is written about. Trouble is, as we get older we romanticise the early years and long to go back and have it all over again. We forget how sleep deprived we were and how ‘go the fuck to sleep’ is a PG rating of what actually goes on inside our head at 3am in the morning when we’ve already been up at 12, and 1 and 2….. As our kids grow up and need us less, we don’t long for the hard stuff, we just miss the cuddles and knowing that they are safe in their beds and that we have control. One day, you too will have time for Candy Crush, but the silence in your house will have you wishing for the shit times. What you are doing now is tough, you don’t need us to tell you to enjoy it because they grow up so fast, we just wish we could have it back again. We understand your frustration with us though. I would have been seriously pissed if someone did it to me. That’s what’s so weird, I have become that person, and one day you will be me.
    PS I can’t wait to be the Nanna and then I don’t have to have the sleepless nights and ‘witching hour’ screaming matches. I instead become the Nanna hero, who gets to spoil without the hard work. I’ll keep you posted on how that goes, until then… you are amazing, keep going super mum x

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  14. Yes. Just yes.

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  15. Lucy Forster

     /  March 1, 2015

    I am a Granny now to 4 gorgeous grandchildren aged 15 months to 4 years, but I remember it all so so well. At one point I put my daughter in the pram at the bottom of a big garden so that I couldn’t hear her, my son having a tantrum, into his bedroom, and me sitting on my bed crying my eyes out and wanting to disappear. Parenting is the hardest job in the world – and I can tell you that it never stops – but it is also absolutely the best job in the world. I would not be without my 3 – yes I had another one! – and as a granny you live through it all with your own children who are raising their wonderful families – things don’t change. Keep at it you wonderful people – its worth it.

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  16. karrie

     /  March 1, 2015

    I am living this!!!!!! 5 month old and 2 year old!!!!!! Thanks for this i needed it!!! #sleepdeprivedaswell #cryinginthebathroomispeacefulhaha

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  17. Mariah

     /  March 1, 2015

    OMGawd, thank you for writing this! I’m a mother of 3 boys, 2 of them are special needs and one is a hard ass ALL the FUCKING time. And the cherry on top…we’ve got one more on the way! I love my boys…and the little bun in the oven…however I’m a SAHM and I never get out. Seriously…we have no family close by to help, friends are busy with their own lives to help, and we can’t afford help. A few of my friends have one kid and tons of family to help and I get so jealous (and I’m not the jealous type…insert random guilt here for feeling that way). I get the same comments too about being grateful and I want those comments to shoved right back up their asses. I can’t stand it! No one gets it that two of our three boys are special needs and require an insane amount of my time (and my husband’s) for therapy, IEP meetings, emergency phone calls, parenting classes, researching, etc. It’s WORK on top of the normal parenting work…and it’s exhausting…24/7 fucking bullshit and I can’t imagine not doing it…they need us! But holy fucking bloody hell…once in a while we would like to GET OUT! be husband & wife…not parents…not special needs advocates fighting with the school systems, no “teachable moments” for assholes…instead of telling them to take their fucking retard asses somewhere else and NOT judge my baby! We NEED time outs too…I’m a 35 year old wife & mother…and this woman needs a fucking time out…preferably with her awesome husband! We’ll take a pack n play and go to our room willingly…we won’t need to CIO either. And for the sex we should be having during our time out…we’ll probably be cuddling grateful for a few minutes of just being in each other presence. So, when we have the well-meaning “be grateful” being spattered on my FB wall…I just want to scream…FUCK OFF!

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  18. Sarah Graham

     /  March 1, 2015

    This is brilliant, you are brilliant and parenting is the single-most hardest job on the planet. I love this article xx

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  19. Christelle

     /  March 1, 2015

    I just want to say I FUCKING LOVE YOU! My first boy nearly died during birth,I was discharged after 2 nights with no milk,serious pts,no family around at all (I’m from France),and a totally useless husband. It took more effort than words can describe to drag myself to my first mothers group; with a baby who was waking every 2 hours at night and only slept in the baby bjorn during the day. And I’m sitting there with my tormented peacefully asleep in the bjorn (just so everyone thinks I’m crazy when I say he is a nightmare), and this woman says ” I love watching my daughter when she sleeps, I just can’t believe how beautiful she is, she is the most beautiful thing I have EVER seen”. WTF?!! Was she on drugs?!! Because if she was I wanted whatever she was having. I sat there with a blank look on my face but I wanted to shake her really hard,maybe slap her a bit,then shove all the parenting books which she no doubt possessed and had studied religiously where the sun didn’t shine. It’s time we stop advertising parenthood as a fluffy,happy,lovey MDMA nirvana. The truth is motherhood is hard,and it’s ok to wanna put your kids on eBay sometimes,or on the side walk with a “free to good home” sign around their necks. It doesn’t mean you are a failure,that little Johnny will grow up to be an emotionally scarred psycho that torture small animals. Life is not a Huggies commercial,and women who struggle should be smothered in kindness and empathy,not driven further into their own feelings of inadequacy by being told they should feel grateful and elated 24/7. I was lucky to have found women who would invite me over to their messy house,bottle of wine freshly corked,and where honest enough to expose their own beautiful flaws. I love my boys in a way that only another mother can truly understand,and sometimes I wish they were mute and had no legs… And that’s ok,be cause I am human.

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  20. Ri

     /  March 1, 2015

    ❤ this. When you get a tough baby and everyone says – "Wow – isn't it the most amazing thing ever being a mum!" Um no!!! I swear the early years are a test to be endured. Tough stages come and go after that. But cluster feeding and years of no sleep and constant nappies and vomit and poo…and kids that can't communicate properly so they just cry and fuss and feed…. pffft… yeah, I'm grateful. That it's over! By the time my insomniac was 4 it got easier. I think it is true that the smart ones sleep less 😛 But eventually they submit to some semblance of routine that means you can leave them with a sitter and go to a gig and feel like a person not a vending machine.

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  21. Chanel (chang_mrs)

     /  March 1, 2015

    I love this. I barely remember anything from the first 2 months of having kids. It seems like a blur and I was this milk machine vampire. Youngest is now 3 oldest is 6 and some days still feel the same. I enjoy lost of booze on the weekends and have trained the kids to sleep in on the weekends because it’s mummy’s days off. Good luck xx

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  22. veronica

     /  March 1, 2015

    This is the best thing ever! I have raised 7 kids, eldest now has her own 2 littlies and my youngest is 7. Done the breastfeeding thing and dealt with one when she was 4 with pneumonia and a 2 week old at the same time. People just don’t understand how tired you can get.

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  23. sayfin

     /  March 1, 2015

    Reblogged this on Parental Guidance Recommended and commented:
    #IAGNFO

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  24. Kay

     /  February 28, 2015

    So true – I call 1998 the year of the blur. 2 babies in 12 months and I felt so sorry for myself haha!

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  25. nataliaclara

     /  February 28, 2015

    This. Is. Perfect. Thank you for expressing so frankly what most (all?) mums of very young kids think on a regular (hourly?) basis. How DARE I complain about my kids when there are people out there who can’t have children/lost their children/hate children/aren’t remotely interested?

    You don’t touch on the uncomfortable subject of how boring (sorry, but true) looking after very young kids all day, every day, is. My two, aged 2 and 10 months, are cute, adorable, clever, sometimes hilarious, and I would die for them in an instant, BUT… Looking after them full time is sometimes incredibly tedious. People without kids or with grown-up kids don’t get it. They don’t know – or have forgotten- how gruelling, exhausting, boring, and frustrating babies and toddlers are. And chronic sleep deprivation! You don’t know what that means until you have a baby in your life.

    Sorry for the epic comment. You rock, Boganette, and thank you for voicing what so many of us Mums are thinking, but daren’t say, for fear of being branded UNGRATEFUL.

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  26. Caitlin

     /  February 28, 2015

    Hands down the best thing I have ever read on the internet!

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  27. I too love this. Even on a rare day when everything is going swimmingly, it’s still hard work. I have more reason than most to understand exactly how grateful I am for my remaining children, yet that doesn’t make superwoman. I can curse under my breath and beg them to have another hour’s sleep and lose it and give up and give them nutella sandwiches with jaffa cakes for tea occasionally because I don’t have the fight in me. It’s hard work, and those who have forgotten need to remember that they’ve forgotten, smile and maybe even offer to help x

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  28. Thank you so much!!! I spent a lot of time feeling guilty for being miserable when my girls were newborn, ten months and two years. Loved them and hated being a mom if that makes sense.

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  29. AnnaJohns

     /  February 28, 2015

    Yea yea. But why is there a gigantic curly turd on your pillow?

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  30. Jan

     /  February 28, 2015

    Aww I hear you! Please don’t think it all ends with them growing up, it in all probability gets worse. For instance the first time the venture out on their own with their friends to a nightclub or party, well past the time they should be home, no answer on the mobile and your pulling your hair out. You tell yourself they have been murdered in some dark alley when all of the time it’s just because they are having a good time and the music too loud to hear the phone. Or when they have passed their driving test and decide they are going on a road trip, the last you hear from them is whilst they are in their car with a group of giggling girls and now it’s well past bedtime, you ring their mobile but they have their car sterio on too loud and anyway you tell them not to use their phone while driving!!
    Oh yes and then come the menopause and hot sweats, walking up past 4 in the morning sweating and find their car is still not in the drive, bed empty, and no answer on the mobile once again. You drive yourself crazy until they turn up as if nothing is wrong and can’t fathom out why you are so stressed, they only crashed at their mates and watched videos. Yep it could get worse.

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  31. Nice blog post you can’t be that tired! Haha, only kiddin. Bringing up 2 boys was hardest job I’ve ever had exhausting and strainful. I have 2 great sons.

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  32. The Pie Patch

     /  February 28, 2015

    I just read this with my husband & proper LOL’ed. It all SO true. All of it. I get it.

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  33. Madelyn McIntire

     /  February 28, 2015

    We have just one beautiful little girl (16 now), but we went through all kinds of contortions to get her sleeping in her own bed. As Mom, I am also the sole breadwinner, but I traveled a lot and so I couldn’t put it all on my husband. We took turns with sharing the middle of the night intrusion.

    We used the purchase of a new, big bunk bed as the catalyst to get her sleeping in her own bed at night. Frankly, I also told her I was going to rent her room if she didn’t use it. Now she hangs out in her room most of the time, online with friends, or doing homework, and I am the one that invades her space to get kid time.

    Another sleepless phase starts in the teens. Late night homework, too much online activity, dating, experimentation, and of course driving. Ahhhh!

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  34. Dallas

     /  February 28, 2015

    Thanks, that was awesome. I agree with absolutely all of it.

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  35. Jacki

     /  February 28, 2015

    I recently read an article by a mum of teenagers, she describes in it how she now yearns for the day her kids wanted to know her, and idolised her. As a mum if a 4 and 1 year old it has really affected me… Made me feel like every hug is so precious. I think this was a nicer way of helping me find gratitude when I’m exhausted and completely stripped bare of personal space!!!

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  36. Amy Handley

     /  February 28, 2015

    I love this. Yesterday was the most ridiculous day I have yet encountered- it was like never ending piss and sht coming from my kids and nothing went the way I hoped. I crawled into bed well past midnight and all I could think was I am sooo grateful… that bloody day is over!

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  37. Becky

     /  February 28, 2015

    That is awesome! I had a similar thing last week from my mum & sister(her oldest is 17 & youngest is 9). My mum is retired & considering going on a once in a lifetime cruise to America. I just happened to say I can’t wait to be retired so I can go on holidays like that. Then I got from both you should enjoy it having the babies (3 yr old & 10 month old), these are the best years of your life, you should be grateful! Oh F off! I am grateful, I love my children to death, couldn’t imagine being without them, but really?!!! Best years of my life?? I think they were 3 years when at uni, out every night, no responsibilities! X

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  38. Absolutely this. It is completely possible to be both grateful and exhausted to the pint of weeping- I remember it well myself. The best advice I ever got was don’t listen to advice/commentary because It is invariably about making themselves feel better or justifying their own behaviour. You complain when you need to!

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  39. Perfect! My son didn’t sleep till he was 3 and a half. He’s 11 now and in my bed right now.

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  40. so much yes. Of course you can be simultaneously grateful and exhausted and stressed and boo to people who want to tell you what to do.

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  41. Might I suggest we start using #sogratefuland or #IAGNFO on our horrible-parenting-experiences social media posts?

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  42. I hear you sista. Kids are hard fucking work. Especially at 3am in the morning. Just because we tell them to fuck off* doesn’t mean we don’t love them and aren’t grateful for them.

    * I’ve never done this, obviously.
    ** Okay, I have.

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  43. Yes yes yes yes. I think this is also the reason people hate their mother-in-law. Because like everyone else, they forget, but it seems even more insulting when it’s the mother of your husband thinking you’re a fruitloop/ungrateful whore.

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  44. Sam

     /  February 28, 2015

    Thank you for this. I pulled 2 king single beds together to make one bed. And the kids are allowd to sleep on their side ( there is a rise between the mattresses) if they want to share with me (hubby sleeps in our bed in a different room). My kids use to tag team all night I know the exhaustion, I know the love and gratitude I have for my beautiful ferals and I also know the heart ache of them growing up and moving out and of not wanting to be hugged. Hey parenting is hard and I believe that we as women are, instead of helping each other are trying to prove that we are better than each other, not wanting to let others know we are doing it tough. So he’ll yeah get out of my bed, I don’t want to know that your awake at 2am and want to play (that is as long as they are safe and not in any pain) just go back to sleep in your own bed like everyone else. Get into the same rhythm as your brother and let me sleep. So my answer to your comment is: hell no that’s not fair how about I come over in the morning and watch the kids so you can get some sleep and feel human again. We all need our own space and we all love, cherish and are greatful for our ferals. Just give us some sympathy you have all been in the same moment.

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  45. Cathy

     /  February 28, 2015

    👏👏👏👏👏love it!! I’ve removed many people from my life due to this happening, people have short memories ! Thank you for sharing !

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  46. Sarah Cotter

     /  February 28, 2015

    I honestly could’ve written this myself! (Except I’m shit at writing!) it’s totally my life, I’m currently going through homework flashbacks…..I fucking hated (and I’m mean 10yr old vomiting on a Sunday night cos I didn’t want to go school Monday) whenever my boy brings homework home……..no ones makes that thought occur to you beforehand. If I could tell my 20 yr old self what my life as a parent is like, I guarantee I would not be a Mum. But the weird thing is I could not be without my two little brats, when I think of how much I love them, I feel my cells ache! I’ve often wondered if cavemen went through these parenting conundrums………they pop for a wee and their little caveman has nicked their warm spot in the dirt…….would they get as upset? (When I say upset I of course mean heavy breathing sweary rage!) 😃 I loved this article, thank you! 👍

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  47. Michelle

     /  February 28, 2015

    Hallelujah! Someone who gets it. I love my children more than life itself but at 3am I maybe love sleep a little more… I am sick and tired of this sanitised ‘perfect’ idea of parenting. It’s not real but we’re made to feel like monsters when we stray from that ideal!

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  48. jotje69

     /  February 28, 2015

    OMG! Best blogpost I’ve ever read. So true! I’ve raised 4 kids (well I’m not even finished doing so yet… The youngest is only 8), and I’ve done the whole breast feeding, puke, crap and sleepless nights shit. I love my kids from here to the moon and at least halfway back, but yes – parenting is fucking hard sometimes. And agonizing hard if you’re tired, the kids puke one after the other (‘t was a long Noro night …) and the mister sleeps through it all sound like a baby.
    I bet the “be grateful” moms felt like shit too when their babies were little, they just forgot about it and get mushy eyes in retrospect. Oh, the bliss of amnesia!!!!

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  49. That slogan should be on a t-shirt!! I got told a lot, “it doesn’t get any easier”. Bull-fucking-shit it doesn’t!!! Those parents either had perfect babies and toddlers or very short memories. It gets easier. I always tell that to parents of babies and toddlers. I hope it doesn’t sound patronising. Those early years (up until they start school) are a hard slog.

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  50. Rebecca Guiren

     /  February 28, 2015

    LOVE IT!! Story of my life….

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